Testing, Testing, is this thing on?

Just wanted to test that this works before putting up the next bits.

Now, All Access, the normal vlog episodes, will be on YouTube, so make sure you’re subscribed here.

These episodes will not be there, ever. Mostly because I have been threatened with my channel being shut down, in what amounts to a harassment/smear campaign.

Radio Silence

It has been a hot minute since I’ve sat down to update here, and it’s been radio silence about a lot of creative things for me.

In part, this has been because of my own health – both mental and physical. But there have been a mess of other reasons why, and it is past time to be discussing them.

So, let’s just jump into things feet first.

My health – well, that’s been touch and go since before the pandemic made things go boom. Between severe pain taking away my sleep, to just my PTSD taking away my sleep, and sleep being the thing that helps me to function within the parameters of being a “responsible adult”… It was not a good scene for a long time. Thankfully, we’ve (we – my mental health doctor, my GP/PCP and myself) have found a solution that allows me to, most of the time, get sleep on a regular basis. Now I’m working on making my back, and overall self, stronger and healthier. It’s a process, and even if I am not disclosing what is going on, there are things happening.

I’ve had a mental block on writing for a long time now. Why, you ask? Well, some of that I’ll be dealing with in an upcoming podcast and vlog. Let’s just say at minimum that stress fucks my ability to be creative. I’ve found myself wondering if I should even bother continuing. I lost my connection to my characters, and any author will tell you, that’s dead frightening. I don’t want this to be a “pity me” moment. I want this to be a moment of clarity as to the external bullshit that has been taking a toll on me since July 2020.

So, that’s how things have been going. My stress level has been, overall, going down. There have been people who have gone out of their way to make sure that I know they care, and that they have and will continue to support me. Things don’t change in situations overnight, and that is what’s going on here.

I’m trying to get back into weekly or by-weekly blogging. I’m still working out details on more things, and that will be updated soon. I promise.

I intend for this to be the end of the great radio silence – the return of a new, better Amy.

At the End of Year… Looking back at 2021

So, here we are, starting down at the end of 2021 and the beginning of 2022.

We’re in the second year of a global pandemic. My own creative output has dropped, and being out of the ordinary for me, I have read ONE book this year. ONE.

It’s not that I haven’t had any ideas that I want to work on – I’ve had plenty. But, being able to do what needs to be done to get that into reality – friends, I am so tired.

My mental health has been at its best that it has been in a very very long time. I’ve found medication that allows me to sleep. So, why am I tired?

Like most of us, I am so tired of this pandemic. I want to visit friends who I haven’t seen in over a year. I want to not worry that every cough and fever isn’t a deadly virus that doesn’t give two shits that I am happy in life, that I am in most respects doing the best I have been in years.

I finally got set up for the podcast and started to record new episodes, but I had to deal with some epic construction disturbing my ability to record. Bass travels folks. Bass travels.

Beyond that tiredness, at the end of the year, looking back, I know I’m happy. I’ve accomplished the small goal of writing every night in a journal. I’ve put in over 1000 days on my language learning – and I’m getting quite passable at my Japanese.

I also am learning from this tiredness that is affecting everyone, that I need to rest. That going full tilt all the time, especially when you’re tired because of the continued stress of a global pandemic, isn’t wise.

I don’t set “resolutions” for a new year, but I will be looking at setting some broad goals this year.

Updates – Backstage Pass/All Access

No, I ‘ve not forgotten about them.


The big part of why they’ve not been seeing updates is that we’ve had some major construction going on, and because of the sheer level of bass and other sound, I’ve not been able to get anything done that does not sound like utter crap. Yes, I have sound dampening around my studio. Unfortunately, even my phones pick up on the noise around us, and that means I’ve put it on a very very temporary hiatus.

Thankfully, that looks to be ending soon, for which I am incredibly happy. I did know we were going to have construction around us, but I didn’t consider that it would affect my ability to do creative endeavours. Totally had an effect on it that I didn’t count on.

So those are the updates there. They’re both going to be returning/starting very soon, and when I get things ready to roll, I’ll update both here and on my social media with when you can expect it to see them.

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