The past while I’ve taken myself offline for the most part. I needed to sit and think.
Something that came to mind was – life is too short for bad coffee and bad books, surround yourself with things that make you happy.
We’re in one of those periods where those of us who are afflicted with depression get hit hard again. Add onto that my body doesn’t work like it used to and I’ve been down in the doldrums for a while.
I just haven’t had the energy to even try to do anything other than exist. It didn’t help that the new medication I’m on that allows me to have a somewhat functional life had some nasty effects on me either. So I felt like a walking mess from the word go.
So, I took myself away from everything that bothered me, and then started paring back to what made me happy. I know for the last year and a bit I’ve been slowly giving up on what made me happy. I couldn’t really do anything when my pain levels were consistently at 7-8. Drawing? Not going to happen when my arms felt like they were falling off. Writing? Same issue. Getting back into yoga type exercises? Are you frigging kidding me?
All I had left was my books. If I were a dragon, I’d clearly be a book dragon, because I firmly believe that there is no such thing as enough books, just not enough shelving.
So I dove back into reading. Reading was the one thing that I had left that I could do that I enjoyed.
I haven’t had the easiest life. I also haven’t had the hardest life. But, at this point, I’ve made it this far, and there are too many people out there that I need to keep pissing off just by living and being happy. I am surrounding myself with things that make me happy, things that I enjoy.