You might have noticed that I have been absent for the past bit. Haven’t been ill or the like. Just have been trying to get centered and have some me time.
I have a lot on my mind, and not the least of it is coming to terms with the fact, that no matter how I look at it, I am disabled. It does not matter what you call it – I am never going to be fully able bodied in my life again.
It is not an easy thing to wrap your head around, and society does NOT make it any easier. You can’t win. I get dirty looks for using my placard without my mobility aids (because sometimes that shortening of the distance means I can handle it), and I get dirty looks from people if I use it with my mobility aids.
Most of the time, it isn’t from people in my age group. It’s usually my parent’s age group and older. In a way I take it as a compliment, because clearly I look too young to be disabled (news flash – disability does not come with an upper or lower age limit). Seriously, folks. You can kiss my placard because my doctor has certified that I can NOT handle long distances of walking without assistance of some sort.
But, I have gone off topic again. Ah the blessings and curses of having ADHD. This me time has allowed me to get my head somewhat straightened out. I need to get more help in dealing with the pain, but in this world where 10% of people can screw over those who actually need help, I cannot get the help I need.
So for right now, I cobble together my ways of dealing with things so I can attempt to have a normal life. I am working towards actually getting things done writing-wise.
I know life is not fair, but sometimes playing on hard mode really can wear a person out.