Imposter syndrome sucks.
It really hits me when I try to get beyond the crap that has happened to me in the last five years. I really don’t care to talk about it today, but I need to reframe my entire way of doing things. As the post is titled – reframe, rewind, relearn.
I’ve decided to work on getting things planned and getting ahead of the game. It’s going to take a while, and because having chronic illness can sometimes move the goal-posts when you’re damn well right there – I know I need to be flexible.
In the spirit of this, I have invested in a planner. Yep, an actual dead tree planner. Of course, my organizational streak in my brain is screaming like a little girl at a boy band concert. As well, I have been wanting to do paper crafty-type things for a while (I blame my Irish sib from another crib – Cait) and I’ve made some steps there.
Of course, this triggers the evil little voice to say “You’re not creative, why are you even trying?” – and sometimes even having the toolset that I need to defeat it, it’s hard to do.
One of the things I’ve learned to do is reframe those thoughts. To redirect things into another place mentally. To that end, I’ve got some software to help me and some awesome people who cheerlead me and have squids at the ready when I need them to (and don’t worry if you get that – it’s a running joke among some of my dearest friends).
Everything in life is a journey. From the moment we’re born, until we take our last breath. I am learning to be happy. Learning is a journey. It’s never a straight line to the finish. One of the biggest hurdles to get over is that we’ve been sold that from a very very young age. Failure is a necessity. If you don’t fail, you don’t learn. Yeah it hurts. Yeah it sucks. But it’s an important part of the journey.
I hope you’ll continue to come along with me on mine.
Until next time – live, love, learn, and never stop rockin’!