• Like the phoenix rising

    Like the Phoenix Rising

    I know that I’ve said it before, but every time someone thinks that they’ve got me down, I end up bouncing back. It may look like I’m going down in flames, but, like that proverbial phoenix rising from the ashes, I am reborn, I come back better than before. Maybe I’m a T-1000? Watching what is going on in my life, I am learning to spot people who seem to think that they know me, when they’ve got a warped view of who I actually am from a third party, and usually a third party who decided that they didn’t like it when I started to advocate for myself and…

  • Torn To Shreds

    So, I’m working on the second book. My hands are full with so much right now that I’m amazed I have time to type this out. Of course, I listen to music as I write, and this song kept coming up when I wrote the first bit of the first draft. It felt then, and feels now, like a good summation of the main character’s feelings. It’s also how I have felt in writing. People who claim to have had good motives end up tearing me to shreds. Despite what might be said, I am a resilient person (my doctor says so 😉 ). It is sometimes so hard to…

  • Mental Health And My Brain

    My brain can be an epic asshole with my mental health. I can take it out in the sun (with the proper amount of protection), give it veggies, hydrate, exercise and it still likes to fuck with me. I have had depression since I was about twelve. It was like someone flipped a switch (likely the puberty switch) and my mostly happy self went into feeling generally hopeless. I know I’ve always been a shy and very anxious person, as long as I can remember. I wasn’t diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder – Primarily Inattentive (ADHD-PI from here on out) until my (now) husband looked at me after I…

  • Rediscovery

    I’ve been holding off on writing a new entry for a while. I just couldn’t find anything to say. And what I could find to say, really, didn’t warrant being said. Until something happened that forced me onto a journey. A journey of rediscovery. I was really down when it came to my writing (amongst other things). I can remember a time when I really felt that I had something special to share with the world. That has felt like a lifetime ago. For me, writing became a heinous job, that I didn’t want to deal with. You might ask why? I’ve been through a lot in the last five…

  • Refuge In Books

    When I get ill, like I was for the last bit, I tend to take refuge in books. I’ve gone through a lot of shit in my life. Yes, I know there are others that have had it worse, and that doesn’t invalidate either my struggle or theirs. For me, reading has always been an escape. I can barely remember a time where I wasn’t reading. With ear infections, I can’t really move too much, so I was able to retreat into books. They didn’t get rid of my pain, but they helped me to distract myself from it. This also helps me write. That there are other word-wizards out…