From The Abyss I Have Returned

“Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”


…if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you..

It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and wrote anything here. It’s not because I’ve not wanted to, but more that I was overwhelmed. With what was I overwhelmed?

Well, where do I start? I’ve been working on podcasts and vlogs. They’re taking forever because of issues that aren’t on my end of things. I’ve finally gone back to working on my second book again. Things are going slowly, as we’re ever so slowly coming out from the shadow of the last three years of a global pandemic.

I’ve had extended family members, and others that I care about leave us way too early. I’ve had bullshit piled onto bullshit. Like the suggestion that my spouse should police my social media presence – and if you knew the posts that set that off, you’d go “Seriously?” because holy projection batman.

I had to put my own mental and physical health before anything. I’ve been in Rule 0 for a while, because of all the things that I’ve mentioned here, and more.

I’ve paused my educational goals for a while. I even stopped my creative hobbies because I just didn’t have the bandwidth for them.

I am still recovering from this, and one thing I don’t see me recovering is the fact that I’m at zero fucks given. I’ve given too many second, third and fourth chances to people in life because, well, because I wasn’t taking the advice that I should have from the late Dr. Angelou – when people show you who they are the first time, believe them.

So, while things are definitely going to change around here, I want to remind everyone that no one, absolutely no one, has the right to demand access to you. Both in real life and online. The “Take No Harm” part of what I live by means no harm to ourselves, not just to others.

Take care of yourselves friends, and I’ll see you next week.

Things I’ve Not Written On The Page…

It’s been a long time since I sat down and actually written something for the blog on the site. 

Since my dog passed away, I have been doing a lot of soul searching, and trying to decide where I should be going next, what I should be doing. 

My heart was shattered by the loss of that small, fuzzy, loving dog. More than I care to admit most days. With that happening and the fact that my father is still being treated for cancer, well, my heart is still hurting and it’s hard to focus some days. 

Introspection can be a double edged sword, and I am definitely working on getting out of my own head and back into what really matters to me. 

To answer the biggest question – will we see the follow up to A Desert Song?

Yes. I will finish the trilogy, but I am also going to be working on other things that I enjoy. You see, not to tell tales, but there was a point in life where I really enjoyed a lot of different creative endeavours, and after spending about two years being torn down by someone, I couldn’t really do much. I am thankful that I finished the bare bones of the book before this person came into my life, otherwise I’d still be trying to get it done.

I had a few years of one bad experience after another with people who had the same personality types, and issues, and I am finally making more progress. My mental health professionals are very pleased with my progress, and we’re making progress in other, non-related, areas. 

I will be bringing my Vlog to the site soon. I encountered delays because of health issues – headaches from the bowels of hell are not really something that allows you to stare at a screen or have the bright studio lights on you. 

But it was definitely time to let you all know that I’m back, and working. You’ll see the other things that I mention soon. 

Novel Research

Right now, I am working on the first book of the second planned trilogy. I had been working on the second book of the first trilogy, but some parts to it are hard to write because they’re being pulled, in part, from my own experience. So, not a lot of novel research there.

The first book of the second trilogy is a bit more fun. Yeah, there are the conflicts that always are there, that need to be there. But it is more of an introduction to the band and Jonathan himself. 

So, how do I research this? A lot of reading. I’ve been reading books like I am Ozzy and many more rock biographies. These give me a bit more of a footing on what was going on during the periods that Torrent would have been forming and the music landscape. I also have friends who were around during this period and drawing on their experiences helps. 

The internet also helps, because a lot of the era has been talked about online, and finding pages of information is a lot easier than it would have been if I had started to write these books before I left high school

My bookmarks are all over the place (seriously, if I die, don’t just erase my browser history, get rid of my bookmarks too!) because in my big ol’ head I’ve got the whole series planned out. I know the end game about Rebecca and Jon. There is one other person who does, and if he reveals the end, he knows I’ll divorce him (Love you hon). 

I’m also writing stories/novels in other genres. I have a high fantasy story that simmers on the back burner while I write these. Not to mention a pile of ideas that I’ve not had the chance or energy to work on over the last ten years. So my bookmarks have a lot of that research and reminders there. 

Using Scrivener makes consolidating all the information a lot easier as well. Even if I can, and have, lost half a novel in my notes there! 

Attack of the PlotBunny

A plot bunny is a story idea that refuses to go away until it is written. The term’s origin is unknown but is known to predate NaNoWriMo. Because plot bunnies tend to multiply quickly, the term is thought to be related to the oft-quoted John Steinbeck quote about ideas and rabbits.

Wikiwrimo – PlotBunny

Plotbunnies are evil little creatures. They look all innocent and all of a sudden, where you had one idea, you now have twenty. They also attack without warning.

You’ll be listening to your favourite podcast or song and boom idea. And it won’t go away until it is written.

I remember a tradpub author going off about two things at me – plotbunnies and fanfic. They didn’t understand either of them. Why would anyone write fanfic when it’s really just playing with someone else’s characters, and you could have your own.

I explained, as nicely as I could, that not everyone feels comfortable, starting out, with writing their own characters. A lot of traditional published authors have a “seedy past” when it comes to fan fiction (now, I must note that I don’t see it as seedy. I am firmly in the same camp as Charles Stross about fan fiction of any of my works) . Some still write fan fiction along with their published works.

And plot bunnies. Trying to explain to them about the random damn ideas that pop into your head and just refuse to go away. Well, that was, funnily enough, harder to explain. I’ve always been one of those people who gets these damn ideas. I used to write out the outline on index cards, which I recently digitized.

I guess that some writers don’t get plot bunnies. Me, I’ve got a damn hutch full of the bastards that want to be written and get bitey if they’re left there too long.

And for the love of all things pink and fluffy – don’t try to pet them. They bite. HARD.

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